Monday, July 26, 2010

The Literal Doctor

I love the Literal Doctor from Arrested Development.

Lindsay Bluth Fünke: [Tobias was run over by a car] How is he?
The Literal Doctor: It looks like he's dead.
[everyone gasps in shock]
Michael Bluth: Wait, is he really dead or does it look like he's dead?
The Literal Doctor: It looks like he's dead. He's covered in blue paint or something.
[everyone starts shouting and throwing things at him]

The Literal Doctor: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid there's nothing more that I can do.
[everyone gasps]
Michael: Let him keep talking.
The Literal Doctor: Because Dr. Stein has been assigned to your case.

Lucille: [the family is waiting for news on Buster from a very literal doctor] How's my son?
The Literal Doctor: He's going to be all right.
Lindsay Funke: Finally some good news from this guy.
George Michael Bluth: There's no other way to take that.
The Literal Doctor: That's a great attitude. I got to tell you, if I was getting this news, I don't know that I'd take it this well.
Lucille: But you said he was all right.
The Literal Doctor: Yes, he's lost his left hand. So he's going to be "all right."
Lucille: [Jumping on the doctor] You son of a bitch! I hate this doctor!
Lindsay Funke: How do we keep getting this guy?
Michael: Mom, he's a very literal man.
The Literal Doctor: Yes, that's more the way I would take the news.

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