Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Things Tanya Has Learned Since Becoming Helen Brown's Friend;

Something Tanya cooked up when she should have been studying for Maths!
Italics are Helen's replies.

- "Half custody does not mean cutting children in half [which can be painful and cruel...who knew?]"
Helen is glad Tanya realised this.

-"Being slower than a snail, a sloth and a stone put together does not necessarily make you slower than Helen Brown."
Helen still believes she is quicker than Tanya.

-"When there is silence at the other end, after just having told a witty joke, it could be compulsory to explain it."

-"Hate makes you strong...sometimes, lol."
this is solely according to Tanya. Before Helen's explanation on not hating makes you strong, Tanya believed hate fully made someone strong. She has since shifted her belief to 'sometimes.'

-"When Helen is talking to someone, jumping to conclusions is a bad idea."
Helen agrees with this.

-"When sitting next to Helen, expect nothing but a 'horsey' nod once in a while, as her hair is all you can see the whole lesson."
Helen has yet to see this happen.

-"Going to the toilet with Helen can have dire consequences if you do not bag the larger toilet and the space above the toilet roll."
Helen is proud of the fact that she wins this race.

-"When eating with Helen, expect unexpected body noises."
Helen would like to point out that these body noises only consists of burping, and that they do happen to be quite loud.

-"Expect her to me smarter than you in Maths."
this obviously would only apply to Tanya as Helen's Maths ability is limited as it is.

"She is never caught without a 'well-balanced' meal."
Helen likes fish.

-"She can be seen eating dish washing flavoured pancakes, once in a while."
This is Helen's hunger desperation when canteen food is at its worst.

-"Never expect the unexpected."
Helen is surprised that her unexpectedness is expected.

-"When playing badminton, never fail to notice the clothes she wears."
Helen does admit to having interesting clothes tastes. Sock and sandals are a highlight, so are her unconventional PJ's."

-"Make her speak Thai."
Interesting endeavour.

-"Always expect Helen with a huge red bag."
Mary Poppins would be jealous.

-"Catching Helen without a humongous smile is like watching a werewolf wear pink undies under a blue moon."
Helen would like to say that she doesn't smile as much as people think, it is only an optical illusion!

-"Observing Helen closely, when she eats can be fun because of how wide her mouth opens."
It is only an appropriate width to put the food in!

-"Expect Helen to day dream every 2 seconds."

-A toilet visit during lunch is always going to happen, due to the copious amounts of iced tea she drinks."
Iced tea is an important drink.

-"Listen out for girly screams when Mr. Connolly and Mr. Hornell exchange a few words."
Helen believes that these two awesome teachers could be best friends.

-"A Captain Planet fan [she's got the song in her iPod for Pete's sake!]
Helen would marry Captain Planet.

-"Taking good care of the environment is one way to keep Helen happy."
And yet, Tanya will take 3 tries to try and get a plastic wrapper into the bin.

-"Interrupting her during Maths can result in you being ignored."
Helen likes to concentrate.

-" 'West side.' 'East side.' ' Yo' = Helen's 'lingo' "
Helen would like to point out that these uses are for humourous endeavours only!

-"Oh yea, and an Obama fanatic."
Helen has always been rather apolitical, except for the recent election where the win made her run around and receive more exercise than she would have had in a week.

Tanya Retrokarma

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