Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Don't Ask Me I Just Here Man

Ever so often, we pick up the phone to call customer service or something similar, and we are attached to a long queue waiting for someone to get to us.
During your long wait you've probably been pressing optional numbers the computer has commanded you to press, or, you've been talking to the robotic voice that gets your requests wrong, or, you've been brainlessly humming to the supermarket music that's been put on. Finally, after your 15 minute wait, you've been connected to a HUMAN, oh the joy! But wait, he or she can't help you with your problem, but he or she loves selling you other stuff.
"Madam, how about you sign up for the $100 a month package, it gives you free 1,000 hours of non-stop talk!"
"No, I don't want that, I just want to know whether this house still has a working phone line."
"Oh of course, the $100 a month package insures a phone line."

Hanging up the phone has not only wasted your time - and possibly been the instigator of you putting on your mechanical suit to go off and locate the phone line - it has also added a few dollars onto your phone bill, in which the company you've called, gets a percentage off that.
Ah yes, this may not seem like much, but the amount of times you may need to make these kinds of phone calls, may be rather substantial.
So folks, use the internet, go to the library and find some dummy guides. Phone friends, relatives, old teachers, old lovers. Write to your grandmother, ask your dog, your cat, your pet hamster for advice on the problem. If it's a faulty product, take it back to the company where you can see their face. (Although companies with non-refundable policies are another complaint on my list).
Don't call the evils of customer service, they only work there, man.

This has been written out of the frustration of Helen's past experiences, as well as the frustrations of many other people including Wally DeBacker.

Thanks For Your Time - Gotye

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